I am Fearfully and Wonderfully Made!

A situation (I ashamedly admit was over 6 weeks ago) has left me in a timid estate. One where I have lost my self-confidence and become more timid than I probably should be. To the point (again ashamedly to admit) which now is rolling into other areas of my life.

It was a life situation of which I had no clue it was coming. It was like a gut sucker punch. You don’t see it coming, and it’s certainly not expected from the person it’s coming from. It knocks the breath out of you and your dazed, confused, defenseless. You get a hold of your self and then another punch…again out of nowhere. Before you know it, you’re in a fight defending yourself all while wondering “why are you in this position to begin with?’

That is was where I was. I completely didn’t see that coming and emotionally I struggled with how to handle it. I haven’t been in such a position that I could remember and not prepared for it; I froze. Over the last several weeks I have sought out advise, scripture and my elders, for resolution for myself and with this situation. I thought that objective was reached, however now I have discovered there are some remaining wounds. My dilemma now is my attitude and response to this person. I “flinch” in wondering am I going to be sucker punched again and find myself in this “timid” estate; which now has bled into other areas of my life.

So again I have turned to scripture wondering how do you get back to that safe place of home with my Lord, before the thief (the Devil) came to steal my peace from me? I have found scripture telling me,

“God did not make His children to be TIMID” 2 Timothy 1:7

(I am not made to be fearful, cowardice or cringing. But He has given us a spirit of power and of love, calm and of well-balance mind!)

“Casting the whole of your care {all your anxieties, worries, concerns} on Him, for he cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.” 1 Peter 5:7
(I should not and do not have to carry this with me. I can and will give it to Christ. I will only feel his affection for me!)

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalms 139:14
(I am made as I am for a reason and I rejoice in that for my Lord created me this way for a reason!)

“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as name sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7
(As this person sees me, does not mean that is accurate or even relevant! My God sees my heart and knows my heart as I seek my Lords will! That is all I should meditate on!)

"I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right head, I shall not be moved. “ Psalm 16:8, Isaiah 41:10
(My Lord is my strength, not others and what they think/say about me. My Lord is my right hand; He is My Compass and My Strength!)

I hope this gives strength to any of you that might have experienced the same thing. To know we are all human and will mess up. But we are not to care our burdens and to become TIMID. We are to take stride in our LORD. We are to turn to HIM and he will give us Refuge! Know that God is a God of Grace, Peace and Joy. Anything outside of that is of the DEVIL (looking to rob you of all things Righteous!)

With Great LOVE for you all-

Sarah

God will Get you Home

One of my favorite little Devotional books is entitled Grace for the Moment: Volume 1 by Max Lucado. He takes sections from his book, pairs it with scripture and then gives you great food for thought about our Gracious God whom shows us the way on a Daily basis and a great big serving of LOVE.

Todays was named "God will Get you Home." It has the same time of my last post, but slightly different. Hope you enjoy,

"What we see will last only a short time, but what we cannot see will last forever."

2 CORINTHIANS 4:18

For some of you, the journey has been long. Very long and stormy. In no way do I wish to minimize the difficulties that you have had to face along the way. Some of you have shouldered burdens that few of us could every carry. You have bid farewell to life-long partners. You have been given bodies that can't sustain your spirit. You have spouses who can't tolerate your faith. You have bills that outnumber the paychecks and challenges that outweight the strength.
And you are tired.

It's hard for you to see the City in the midst of the storms. The desire to pull over to the side of the road and get out entices you. You want to go on, but some days the road seems so long....

Let me encourage you....God never said that the journey would be easy, but He did say that the arrival would be worthwhile.

"What we see will last only a short time, but what we cannot see will last forever. "

2 CORINTHIANS 4:18

from Lucado's book In the Eye of the Storm

Come to me, all who are burdened....

Have you ever had a day, or a week or a month, of where your to-do list grows every time you mark something off. Or when you accomplish one task there is another 5 waiting....answer one email and there is another ten in your inbox....wondering when are you going to find the time to get it all done and yet still find REST/RESTORATION!

If your answer is Yes, then I can relate to you. The last couple of weeks, I feel like I am going from one thing to the next, squeezing every second out of the day as I possibly can and my to-do list the longest I have seen in a long time.

I was starting to feel worn out and wondering "How am I going to accomplish all of this when all I want is a Nap?".... But then God gave me this verse this morning,

Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest,

and in the Message Translation,

"Are you tired? Worn out? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll RECOVER your life. I'll show you how to take a REAL rest."

What a great since of peace that came over me! All I have to do to be restored is to get away with my LORD and I can recover! He will show me what REAL Rest feels like! So I am leaning on him and getting away with Him as He Restoreth my Soul! Wont' you do the same!?

Happy Wedding Anniversary #2

I'm a little late on this blog, however better late than never. Alex and I just celebrated our 2nd Year of Marriage this passed Monday. It has flown by. Sometime I feel like we are still dating and then I wake up next to this Wonderful, Godly man and realize we have been married for two years. I don't know when one officially no long is seen as a "newlyweds"; regardless I can certainly say, "I still feel 100% Newlywed!"

Keeping in Tradition from last year is our list of things in review while living year #2 together in "Constant love":

1. I got to see how Alex can over come difficulties and has amazing perseverance. He has completed yet another year with great discipline in wearing all of his hats (Godly man, husband, student, employee). God continues to help him finish out his Degree. At this pass I will be blogging of his graduation in MAY!
2. This last year we started to find ourselves praying over and persuing possible houses to purchase. As we started the process of praying, researching, contracts, working with banks/realtors/etc,.....I learned how knowledgeable Alex is and see for myself his great eye for business. It was also such a time of bonding to see how we work together in such decisions, leaning on the Lord and each other, seeing how we have the same taste and expectations for a HOME. End result: no home for now, GOD'S ANSWER: "Wait. I have perfect timing!", An adventure for us.
3. Alex threw me my very first Surprise Party Ever for my 30th Birthday.
4. Went Skiing in Red River, NM, with the Constien/Tipton family for Christmas. It was a fun and long road trip. The cabin was beautiful and Alex and I even got to have a date there. We went to a local coffee shop (similar to our Arsaga's in Fayetteville) and Alex taught me how to play chess. I got Alex a ski lesson with an professional(winter Olympian) in Taos, NM (something he has always wanted to do). Also where I got my first Concussion.
5. Bought a king size mattress set but couldn't afford a nice bed or headboard, so we made one.
6. Working for the Church has so many rewards and joys, however big paychecks aren't one of them. There are times it can be a struggle but for the most part we are constantly shown how the Lord provides. It has been a blessing to see God ALWAYS multiply our "fish & loaves" when we thing the "basket is almost empty". First, in October, God gave Alex a job at Lewis -n- Clark in Springdale. It is close, flexible with his school schedule and understanding with mine so Alex can still, ever-so-often, still serve with me. He even has off Sundays to attend church with me. That is rare for Retail. Next, in December, the church was blessing to give something to the staff which was just enough in answering prayers in wanting just a little more breathing room financially. HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!!?!!
7. Got to together, yet again, to Colorado to take the Singles skiing. I can't tell you the blessing in this. I love we don't have be separated during things like this. Not everyone gets this luxury (the time off, the money saved to pay for it, etc).
8. We lead another mission trip, this time we served in Port au Prince, Haiti! What a blessing!!!!
9. One thing to experience as a couple where you see the raw emotions and love for one another is the loss of a loved one. My dad's mom, Fannie Brown a.k.a. Grandma Brown, passed away days before we left for Haiti in June. Alex's willingness to be with me and to make anything happen so I can find my closure was so enduring and compassionate. One of the many things I feel in love with about him. It was a chance to see how he would be there for me and he exceded any expectations I might have had. What a man!
10. Alex took me to many firsts: first time kayaking, first time to Lamberts (home of the thrown rolls), first time hike Petite Jean Mountain, first time to eat Duck.
11. Went to my first Constien Family Reunion to experience a Potato Gun competition with fireworks and Potatoes, homemade catapults competing in watermelon and water balloon tosses and lots of food and huge Fireworks over July 4th!

There were more of lessons to learn as a family, life experiences to experience with one another, opportunities to support and love one another (like Alex completing another OutStanding Year of School! I'm so Proud). IT was a blessed year. We finished it off with Alex surprising me to a very nice night out at Bordino's! I have wanted to eat there for years now! So we got all dressed up and had dinner together. Afterwards, we walked down to Common Grounds to share dessert (10 pound chocolate cake). Lastly we went home to cuddle! One of my favorite pass times!

We give thanks for all of the memories and lessons we can take from last year. We give God all of the Glory for all things that come from us our home and our hearts. He is our provider, the Center of our Home and the reason we can be in "ConstantLove."

Now is it Sarah Brown or Sarah Constien?

>Funny thing happened yesterday....I get a phone call from my sister asking if I was still married!? Ha Ha! I know, too funny huh?! She was laughing as she asked me and we got a good kick out of the story as well. It reminds me of the game called "Telephone" where one person says something and then the next person repeats and by the time you get to the person at the end of the line....the end statement is not even close to the original statement.

Here's what happened. The Singles minisitry I work with has been blessed with this wonderful woman that worked for us, Mrs. Adrienne Varnadoe for the last year. Well she was offered a full-time position at the church which lead to us needing to hire a new Adminstrative Assistant this passed June. Out of all the outstanding applicants to apply, the one we all agreed on was Sarah Brown (my maiden name). She accepted and has been apart of our staff for about 3 weeks now.

Sidenote: She is actually a friend of mine from college. And we got married the same year. I went from Sarah Brown to Sarah Constien in July and she went from Sarah Roberts to Sarah Brown in December!

Anyways, back to the story....So as her name is circulating through the Fellowship curciut (staff, ministries, etc) some people who didn't know any better thought I had gone back to my maiden name and that Alex and I were getting a divorce!

Now anyone who knows Alex and I or have ever been around Alex and I know that we are still very much married and in love! Most of the time we just can't keep our hands off each other! (running theme we hear from our parents) But it started with someone asking \a question about us, to then someone asking a question and making somewhat a statement to someone asking a question, etc.....until it got back to my sister who just got a kick out of it all together! Don't you love it!!! I can't stop smiling/laughing about it every time I thing about it!

So to be clear, I Sarah Constien, am married and I couldn't be more happy to be Alex Constiens Wife.

Also I know that Sarah Brown is going to be just as much of a blessing upon this ministry as Mrs. Adrienne Varnadoe was and is in her new position with the Communication Ministry!

PACKING MEALS FOR HAITI!!

THANK YOU TO ALL WHO HELPED!

There were several people that came out to help and several meals were packed! Alex and I went as part of our dates Friday night and then had a blast with our "Hotter than Haiti" Team (most of the group that went to Haiti) on Saturday morning! We assisted in several boxes getting packed and sent! But what an effort of NWA!

The Goal was 2 Millions which was just set to smash the current record of how many meals packed with in 24 hours in one city (which was 1.2 Million in Kansas City). We thought it was a pretty cool goal bc the population for Port Au Prince is 2.2 Million.

The End Result was 1.47 Million!!! Not quite the goal but still impressive & A NEW RECORD!!!

We also asked how and when this food will be handed out. Our concern, as the team, was there was so much money given to the Red Cross and while we were down in Haiti, we saw one container with the Red Cross on it and that was it. No people or relief effort (at least within the city while we were there). So we found out within 5 days these packed meals will be in the hands of Haitians that need them through the Salvation Army. They have their own ship that ships them down to their own port where they know people down there so they can give these directly to the people, not the local soldiers or anyone who might sell the meals instead!

So thanks again to everyone that had a Hand in this! You are blessed for your time!!!

HAITI

It was this time last week we were in route to Port Au Prince, Haiti, to work with Thirst No More Organization. Our team met at XNA at 4:30AM to check-in on Friday, June 11th. By the way there are more at the airport than you would expect that early in the morning. For our group of 10 people we checked 17 bags plus a guitar, each bag just barely making the limited 50 lbs/bag (one was 49.2 lb)! That is alot of supplies that people were generous to donate. We were able to take anything from medication to clothing to diapers, toys, tools and tasty treats.

The flight from XNA to DFW was quiet since everyone was a sleep and then from DFW to Miami was longer but Miami was our challenge when an two of our people were told to check their carry-on's in DFW and were told they could get them right off the plane in Miami. However when we got their they had to go to baggage claim, then back through security and then back to our gate; all in 45 minutes. God took care of it though because when we got on the plane we were delayed for 1.5hrs due to weather and a passanger's "health". So there was plenty of time, one way or another :-).

Eventually we landed in Port Au Prince. It was amazing how everyone was talkative on the flight but as we came in for landing the whole plane was silent. We went through customs in a warehouse looking building and 1 hour later we were at our destination: Thirst No More House in the mountain side. It was a humbling drive when one of the first things we see are tent right outside the airport. And then there are tent cities every where you turn. You see piles of rubble everywhere and amazing to see where the earthquake effected right next to where the earthquake didn't touch.

That first night we all crashed pretty early do to have been traveling for over 12 hours at that point. The sun rose at 4:45AM and we were out the door at 9AM. We round in the back of a truck through Port Au Prince and about 2 hours later we arrive at Cabaret, Haiti. This is where we built the house for the week. We were going to start on this day but due to the lumber store having "personal issues". So like any mission trip we improvised. Instead we saw what the house would look like (a team built one the week before) and then play with a bunch of kiddos! They were so fun and wonderful! Their stories are hard, like how some where left their by their parents because they could not afford to provide food for them, and others were harder such as a girl who got there two days before us due to the police finding her wondering the market. When they asked her where parents were, she said they were dead (due to the earthquake). What a blessing that God brought her to this orphanage, one that would love and provide for her as well as show her the love of God. Here are some pictures of this orphanage.

The next day we got to have church on the top of the mountainside at someone's home and then we headed to two other orphanages even further up the mountain. The first one (Sister Dona's) housed about 80 kids who ran up to us when we got there wanting us to hold them, hug them and would not let go of us! It really would grab your heart. We were going to play games with them but the translation was too hard so instead we had someone tell a bible story while we acted out everything. The kids enjoyed the first one but the second story was even better. We had Alex be Goalith and Thomas was David! The kids loved it! Then we made bracelets together and then it was time to leave for the other orphanage. The second one housed about 20 kids and the conditions were not good at all. This place was struggling to make ends meet but all the same, the kids were a joy to play with. We got to color with them, pass out some lolly pops and then some toys and stuffed animals! They loved it and it was fun to see the kids eyes light up finally there at the end.

The next couple of days, the guys were able to work on the house for a single mother of 5 boys who were living in a small tent. This house had a door she could close and windows to close so there is no worry if her home will be there when she returns. A home! We got to visit all three ophranages again doing something different with all of them. We passed out clothes and goodie bags with personal hygeine products. We were able to give one orphanage 1,600 diapers. We gave out peanut butter to the kids one day and did more bracelets, bible stories and then songs (in english and creole). But mostly we loved on the people there and let the Spirit lead us each day of what we were to do.

The kicker for me is as much as we did, sweated and accomplished for the Kingdom of God, there is still tons more to do. WE didn't even get to a tent City (lack of time) but the tent cities alone have a long journey ahead. Currently they are leading people to Christ by the 1,000's but now that all of these Haitians has received the Lord, now what. They need guidance and discipleship in order to learn how to have a relationship with Christ and they need fellowship with fellow believer for encouragement and restorations. So the next thing Thirst No More is working is establishing churches within the tent cities and then hoping to set up discipleship programs within those churches.

This is a miracle for people of God to be working toward something like this for a country that was founded and ran on the foundation of Voodooism (Worshipping the Devil and dedicating their country to Satan!) What a transformation of where they are letting the Pastors be the main source of authority, turning to God for answers!!!!

Then there are the orphans. They need the love and provision. They need to be shown the love of God where they have lost their families and for some, even more. That there are some people who take advantage of these children who can not defend themselves. It was amazing how the devotion we used as a team for the week would give us scripture that pertained to each day and one day was the passage in Matthew talking about taking care of the orphans and the widows. How we are to take care of those who can not take care of themselves. We couldn't love on all of the children as much as we longed to and as much as we knew they needed it.

Thank you all for your prayers for the team and the support. You being apart of our team like that, was a huge need and was felt the who time. We was in awe when we would see how God truly divinely inspired a team that worked together as one body, sent us with the prefect supplies to do what we did and protected us from the Spiritual battle Satan tried but failed to force upon us! Rejoice with us for what God has answered and continues to answer for the country of Haiti! Continue to fight for them in the Name of God! Your prayers are always a need.

Speaking of NEEDS-

There is a Packing for Haiti starting tonight at 7PM going through to 7PM on Saturday (June 26th) at Basketball Stadium. If you can sacrifice even an hour to pack meals it would be a great help. You can just show up and they will put you to work!

And to close here are some more pictures from the rest of the trip and then pictures from down town were the most damage was. It was interesting when the Haitians told us that where the most damage was, that was where the most corrupt businesses/officials/cathedrals stood. Including their government palace where the president of Haiti declared Voodoo as the foundation of their country and could never be defeated back in 2006. HOW BIG & STRONG & MIGHTY IS OUR GOD!!!