Emotions.....Can You Trust Them?

I remember when I was in High School Youth Group, we were in a Josh McDowell study (can't remember the name of it) and the subject was "how we can't trust our Emotions." Being someone with so many emotions, this phrase had a lasting impression on me over the last decade and a half.

"If we can't trust our Emotions, then what good are they and what do I do with them when I feel something?"

I am still working on how this fits in my life. Nevertheless, the following is what I have thus far discovered:

We legitimately Feel Emotions.

When we are hurt and feel grief, we go through a series of emotions known as the Stages of Grief (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance). When you feel pain, you may feel compelled to cry or if you are mad, you might begin to resent someone. But like anything in life,

"it doesn't matter so much as what you do but how you handle it."

When you learned how to ride a bike, you most certainly didn't get it the first time. You probably fell over several times, maybe even got to petal a bit but nevertheless you still fell over. Now it doesn't matter so much that you fell. Everyone falls. What did matter is what you did after you fell.

Did you give up? Did you kick the bike for "making you fall" and thus blaming the bike for your mistake? Did you go running off crying and thinking "I'll never get this" or "Well, riding a bike just isn't for me"?

OR

Did you get back up?! You might have cried from being disappointed or from getting a scratch or even felt hopeless after the 10th fall BUT You GOT UP ANYWAYS and TRIED AGAIN!

That is what I mean about how

"it doesn't matter so much as what you do but how you handle it."

You didn't give up! You preserved and finished something you started...no matter how many times you had to try/work on it. That's the way to handle things!

Emotions are the same thing. You are going to feel something. Everyone does, maybe even several times a day. What matters is how are you going to handle them or are your emotions going to handle you. Are you going to let them determine if you hold a grudge against someone, harbor guilt/anger for years to come, maybe even cause you not to trust people and becoming isolated? Will you let the feelings determine your mood/attitude or lead to cause you to lose your self-worth/identity?

OR ARE YOU A STUFFER.....

Do you stuff your emotions? Because if you don't ever feel anything or talk about it, then you don't have to feel those feelings or worry about what comes next? And eventually it all goes away... Right?! WRONG! If this is you, you stuff everything down and think it will eventually go away....especially if you don't acknowledge it. However, if this is you, they don't go away and they will continue to try and surface until you do deal with them. Even if you have become a PRO at this, the only difference is you have a bigger WALL between you and everyone else. The only thing WALLS do is cut you off from the World and loved ones from truly connecting in complete relationships.

SO THEN WHAT?

1.) You acknowledge the emotion.

Figure out what you are feeling and why. If you're Super Worried about something, you might really have a fear of Failure. And you need to figure that out so you can deal with it.
NOTE: this can take a while. Especially if you are not use to identifying your feelings.

TIP: Get with someone you trust (i.e. mentor, pastor, best friend, etc) to talk it out with you. Someone that is mostly going to listen but also help you look inward more so.

TIP: if you don't know how to describe the feeling, look at a list of emotions. Just reading through them might help trigger something. Click HERE for a list. Click HERE for list/definitions. This is the Best one I think, with the Emotions & the Subcategories.

2.) Look at how your emotions lines up with God's Word.

If you are not a Believer in the Lord, Jesus Christ, you might start to skip this one. BUT WAIT! This is where I have found the ability to NOT ALLOW MY EMOTIONS TO CONSUME ME.

Emotions can wear me out. That's why I like to deal with them and move on ASAP! However, one of the hardest emotional experiences I've had in a long time was over this summer.
I had the following emotions due to a situation: deep hurt, betrayal, stunned/took by surprise, resentment, anger, anxiety, great sadness. The hurt as so deep and hard, I didn't want to deal with it because when I felt it was overwhelming. In fact, I prayed God would remove me from the situation so it would just go away. So I started to turn to God for help and what I should do. He lead me first to Matthew 18:15, "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his faults" and then Ephesians 4:15, "speaking truth in Love." I knew I was going to have to confront the person and the situation, which is not my strength.
So I kept searching God's Word for guidance and met with my mentor on praying what to do next with the emotions and the situations. It seemed that most scripture was telling me how to deal with the emotions I was feeling:

• The Wise turn away from Anger. (Pro. 29:8)
• We are not to judge one another. That is God's duty (Romans 8:34)
• Judge not or you too will be judged. (Matthew 7:1)
• Know that God is faithful to those faithful to Him. (Ps. 31:23)
• We are to Cast all of our Cares upon Him (aka we are to worry because He does that for us)
• To have faith (He will provide) (1 Peter 5:7)
• We are not to let our heart be troubled. Believe in God! (John 14:1)
• Rejoice Always (1Thessalosains 5:16)

I believe that God knew the heart would be so strong and hard to conquer with the flesh, which is why His Word is full of encouragement and insight of how to deal with anger, sadness, joy, worry, sorrow, great lost, pain, etc. Which brings me to #3.


3.) Make a Decision.
Once we feel, we have to make a decision.
Are we going to hold onto everything or we are going to let go and let God?
We are going to take matters into our own hands or Believe in God and trust Him as our Lord and Savior?
Are we going to chose to "Rejoice always" or allow that anger to become resentment, sorrow to turn into depression or worries to result in high stress?
I know that choosing to "Rejoice Always" seems unrealistic and impossible. Nevertheless, God tells us to do so. We are suppose to strive for it. {Strive: to make great efforts to achieve or obtain something} We aren't perfect (that is who Jesus is!) so we are going to mess up on this some how some time. But like everything else we learn from the Word, it is a daily effort to Pick up our Cross and Follow Christ every single day.

A great man pointed out once that in Ps 103, God remembers who we are, that we can from Dust. So He remembers what He made us out of and knows we are not going to be perfect. But God again does not ask for perfection from us. But we are called to serve and to not be lukewarm.

So remember, Emotions are normal and everyone has them. Also remember they are of the flesh and to keep your emotions in check, try dealing with them according to God's will and having Faith that God will take care of those who are faithful to Him. Finally, because emotions are of the flesh, we have to chose how they will effect our lives before those emotions decide for you. Meaning, who you are and how you deal with emotions is up to you!

I leave you with this photo by Ron DiCianni entitled "Forgiven". The title speaks for it's self. But the reason for posting it, this is how I felt this summer: Beaten up and done. I needed a Savior to save me and I got the one and only Savior. Jesus Christ has my back and is holding me up! Praise God, Praise God for His Grace and Love!