Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Marriage Tip #5: Be Flexible


This tip perfectly follows Tip #4 (Command Central), where trying to find organization in the chaos of life.    Know that NOTHING is PERFECT!  Things are going to go wrong, people need time to adjust to change and know what battles you truly should fight for.
I remember our first year of marriage and we were trying to plan the Holidays with family.  Trying to see as many relatives as possible, squeezing every minutes out of everything.  We had this "Plan" but when it came time to execute, disaster.  I was expecting one thing and something else kept happening! I know you all who have been married longer are laughing at me for having a "plan".
Well it can be comical but what I LEARNED was that you can have a plan to help things a long or in my case to get something out of the answer "I don't know" to every answer. 
1.)  Work on a "GENERAL" Plan 
       *Don't get carried away with a lot of Details. My dad says all the time, "The Devil is in the Details."
       *I learned this one from our Wedding.  There were all of these details left to handle and only a week to go.  There wasn't a lot of time and I wanted to enjoy the week of festivities, so I let them go! Crazy I know, but I didn't want to remember being cranky or tired before the wedding. Instead, I remember a great time with the ones I love.
       *If you too many of these, you will be so focused on the Details that you will miss out of the Joy of the Event. 
2.) Have REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS. 
       *Have in the back of your mind, things will vary and don't get attached to something that later on you could be disappointing when it doesn't happen.
3.) CHOSE your BATTLES.
       *If there is something you really, really want to happen, PICK 1 and then be ready to make it happen.  But just 1!  Too many more than that & you are fighting an up hill battle.
4.) This all leads to FLEXIBILITY.
      
So when you work on the Command Central for the family, be general as possible to make things simple but functional. (i.e. there are more ways than one to vacuum a room or wash the dishes).
When you plan a trip, be realistic you may leave 30 minutes later than expected. 
When changing routines be PATIENT with people. It takes 30 consecutive days for someone to develop new habits which then can lead to them remembering without being reminded.




2 comments:

Catherine said...

this reminds me of the book 'don't sweat the small stuff.' pick your battles & let the rest go - i think it's in the top 5 philosophies for a healthy marriage/life. :)

More Curious than Cautious: The Constien's said...

That sounds like a great book.